So today is something a little bit different to the usual post - I was going to do a Spring Collection for you but I've decided against it and I've chosen to do this instead.
Some of you might know this, and quite a lot of you may not.
It's my Daddy's Birthday tomorrow, he would of been 49. I say 'would of' because he sadly passed away 8 years ago.
It's strange; carrying on with life without him. Leaving school, starting college, having a boyfriend... he's missed so much already, and there's so much more he's going to miss. It's sad.
I like to think that he's so proud of me, wherever he may be. I haven't done any of the things I set out to do, but what I have done is that I have overcome things that would usually bring me down.
I get quite upset when I speak about him, but that's because I miss him... and when you miss someone, you feel all emotional inside.
Sometimes, I feel him around me. It's quite a weird feeling, and not something that I could easily describe. There's been many times, when I've sat speaking about him and something strange happens... like the lights start flickering, or the TV turns off by itself. Coincidence? Maybe. But I believe that it's him, giving me a sign that's he around. I don't like to think that he's gone forever, that he's not around anymore because that makes me feel empty, and I don't want to feel like that all the time.
My dad, like anybody's dad... is a huge part of my life. Why? Because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. Okay, maybe I would be... but I wouldn't be the same person. (Do you ever have those thoughts about what it would be like if you wasn't here, and then you start thinking about what you would be like if you were born at a different time? - I'm doing that now, strange isn't it).
We do, in my opinion... come into this world to die. I don't know why, nobody knows why, it's just a part of life. I like to think that we go to a nice place, it's a controversial subject to talk about, but why? Because nobody knows... not really.
Anyway... off subject - My dad; He was everything to me. I didn't see him all the time, and I argued with him and had my little tantrums but the love for him I had, never changed.
He was an idiot at times, but he was my idiot and I loved him. I still love him and I will never stop loving him.
I will always miss him and I will always think about him, but I can't stop my life because of someone who isn't here anymore. The world keeps spinning, and I keep changing. I'm growing up... and that won't stop until it's my time to leave.
I hope he has a grand old time wherever he is, and a nice cold beer to celebrate with.
Happy Birthday Daddy♥
R.I.P Trevor Brassington - Missed by many & Loved Always.